Everytime when i told someone the news, they would say, "wow, finally you two are together." or some would say, "congrats!". while others say "Expected that you two will be together."

Well, this goes to show how many people know that I have been liking her all these while. Even before we were together, some strangers like for example the promoter that recommended me the POSB enhanced GO! credit/atm card, he also said something about her being my girlfriend. And then the hairdresser boss also said that I was her boyfriend. Everybody around us is feeling so happy for us, especially me...I'm feeling as though as I'm the most blessed guy on earth. Well, these few days I've been spending time with her after school and didn't really have time to blog. Someday maybe I'll just write out my love lifestory...the ups and downs, the roundabouts made, the mistakes made through the 3years of waiting for her.

It all started from sec 3F, 2004. I can still remember clearly during that year I was sitting in front of her, playing her 6510 handphone game and she was sitting beside Sandy. First we went through September.I can never forget that month when she and Kenny started going steady. It was because of that that I got to see Kenny more often. Then we went through October; the Open House doing some sales thingy while the girls inside the classroom do some hair straightening and some medicure thing. And then next it was her birthday at pasir ris chalet, celebrating together with her grandmother. Then Kenny was there, Kai Yan, Sandy, and all of her friends were all there. I still remember the shape of the cake; it was a heart shape with strawberries on top of it.
After that it was the exams that came and left. Lucky for me, I made it to sec4, but my results were really 'just pass' kind of standard. As for her, she went down to normal acad, and I went through a year without her in my class.

I couldn't remember when it happened, but that incident was really carved literally in my head. That day, a few of us together with Soon Seng went to Tampines Century Square arcade, and they saw him in another girl's embrace. I was speechless. How could a guy do this to her. Then she really broke down into tears. That day was really terribly sad for her. I wished I could do something to help her get over it but well, as a guy and a friend I couldn't do much but to just console her with words.

It was that day that I told myself,"I'm not going to let this girl cry like this again."

Year-end 2004 wasn't that good either. Guessed there were more heartaches for her as she kept on breaking and patching up with Kenny(if im not wrong?). 2005 officially ended the relationship. I stood by her all the way through. If she wants someone to talk to, I'll be there for her like a pillar to support. Guessed through those times, our relationship began to improve and both of us eventually got closer, making us really good friends. 2005 came in like a breeze. Somewhere somehow, at some point of time, I denied my feelings for her because I knew clearly that it wasn't love. I kept telling myself that,"No. It isn't love! it isn't! It's just a crush that will fade away soon." So i told her no, when she asked if I was secretly liking her.
Once again, through IRC she got to know this guy by the name of Alfred. Before I even knew it they were together, after trying so much to make her forget about Kenny and what he did to her. Well, at least she realized that he's not a good guy and should find love somewhere else instead. After a short period of being together, 19Oct2005 everything ended all because of me. The guy whom she claimed to love, the guy whom she claimed that she could not do without with, left her all because of a good friend. "Go stead with him!" Alfred said over the phone. "NO! Give me another chance! Please! Stop trying to push me to some other guy!"
At pasir ris park, stupid me went to sms Alfred to ask her to get into the shelter because it was raining. I knew I broke her heart too much. I betrayed her. And I felt so terrible that I couldn't even forgive myself.
Hearing what Alfred said, the girl asked me,"Why not we make up a fake boy-girl friend relationship so that Alfred would not break up with her?"

I agreed, since the doors of going into a relationship was so widely open. Eventually we left the park of broken memories which I call it. That day, she was frustrated not because of Alfred but because of the two of us being together. My 'stead' helped me to hold my bag. Somehow, her expression could tell me that she's not happy with whatever that's happening.And once again, stupid me felt really terribly guilty and thought that she was angry about what I did with Alfred.

O levels came and slapped my whole life upside down as I had to study for it while feeling stressed up about what she said to me. "DON'T TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN!" I really felt like crying my heart out. For once I thought, I lost a good friend and someone that I wanted to be with. What's more, I have a victim beside me that I actually replace her for it. 1month, 2months passed. The storm seemed to calm down. I gave a hug, a kiss, and held my hand with her, leaving out a substance of love. She was there trying to get closer to me, reason being that she wanted to test if that girl that I hold hands with had any trust for me, when clearly it was all jealousy.

She began to realized how lonely it was without me by her side and that I was with this girl all the time.
2006 came, whatever that happened really did happened. 9.1.06, S.H.E concert she prompted me to break off. Feelings ran all over me. I was thinking,"Should I or should I not?"
Me:Dear I got something to tell you.
J:What?
Me:I've decided...to listen to your mum...
J:"Stunned...not knowing what to do..." o...k...
Me:But we can still be friends right?
J:Yeah.
She alights off the lrt train.

By then, I knew I was free of the girl. Whatever that happened was all in the past. It was time to look forward to a new present, an unknown future to my life. Everyday went by with looking for her, at least almost. Somewhere in my memory the place spotlight at Plaza Singapura was the place I started holding her hand. It continued ever since. Months flew, and she knew clearly how much I loved her in my heart. Strangely, it was unknown to me what was her feelings towards me. During the 2nd half of the year, somehow things start to sharpen abit. There were suspicions that she liked me as well. There were bits and pieces of clues that led to results duducing that it was a positive...that she liked me too. But was it all true? Eve of National Day we went out for a movie. For once at least I managed to put my hand across as we're watching a romance movie. I tried with every strength I could to not to cross the line over since we are still friends.
National Day, I dressed up and looked my best.Glad to say that she was impressed with me and with what I wore. Had a wonderful day out, including me asking her to go take neoprints together.

Finally after going through so much, I can finally hold her hand and call her 'dar'.
Well, it's time to start my love lifestory. Officially.

11.08.2006

someone make this a public holiday! LOL.