Blogger's new beta version really seem nothing much compared to the usual blogger.com..some obvious changes are just the login option using google email address and the smaller compressed button designs as far as I can see...maybe have to explore around, but not by using the school's network. Sucks big time.

Anyways, xy just given birth to another baby boy! xy was previously her godsis, so since I'm with her, it becomes our godsis. She and her husband to be went through difficult fiancial times...only recently her father wanted her to break up with the guy because he couldn't sort of...put food on the table due to no stable job. Now that she's given birth to another after 1year and 4days, wonder how is she going to cope with both babies at the same time together really wonder how is she going to cope finacially. Guess this is why those adults warn us teenagers against pre-marital sex. The pressure given from the parents, the guilt, the shame(perhaps?), and the stress to provide for the child is really big. Just hope that she can cope it and that her parents would be glad to help her out too.

Currently the whole class is basically slacking like crazy. Most of them are playing games, chatting on MSN, using the internet, etc. Guess that's all that we can do for now...

Am off for lunch.

I lost my phone again. But well, it gave me a chance to replace it with the phone that i've been wanting to aim for...just that there wasn't any chance. The sadness was because of the significance of the phone, given to me coincidentally on Mother's day 06 and with all the pictures that I have with her as well as the sim card and the contact numbers as well.
But i guess the new phone that I bought is really worthy of its value of $698. Singtel's hello shop sells it at $798 together with a 256mb memory stick...the latest one...But for me, the good thing is I got my memory stick at 48 which is so much cheaper than the $100 one that singtel sells.

Then today went all the way down to Plaza Singapura to wrap our phones and my laptop. It did cost me a bomb, but think I could afford it. Then while waiting for our items to be ready, we went to The cathay, which was really really empty. There were just a few shops open and brought me there secretly as a surprise. Haha...Then we went back to PS...went up to Yamaha so that I could drum on the drums. For now, recently I love going up and down escalators especially with her. When I'm one step below her, I'll hug her and my head would lie on her looking as if she's my mother. woops. But it seemed more romantic and logic when she laid her head on me instead. But the good thing is, I get to enjoy the lying softly...she gets the firm one and gets to hear my heartbeat as well. Everytime when she leans on me, my heart will beat faster.

Ok, enough of grossing the readers out there.

I can say proudly that love is something that controls the world. Wars started because a loved one was killed(WWI),leading to revenge(WWII), the price of a rose increases as 14th feb draws near, giving business people a chance to make money. Doctors try their best to save a life because the patient is someone who is dearly loved by the people around them. So nothing is more precious in this world than love. Without love, people can't survive. Students jump down because of the stress that they receive from their parents, making them feel sort of unloved as well. The child of belonging to a broken family would strive hard to find love through relationships, since there's no love at home.

yeah.>

Well, this goes to show how many people know that I have been liking her all these while. Even before we were together, some strangers like for example the promoter that recommended me the POSB enhanced GO! credit/atm card, he also said something about her being my girlfriend. And then the hairdresser boss also said that I was her boyfriend. Everybody around us is feeling so happy for us, especially me...I'm feeling as though as I'm the most blessed guy on earth. Well, these few days I've been spending time with her after school and didn't really have time to blog. Someday maybe I'll just write out my love lifestory...the ups and downs, the roundabouts made, the mistakes made through the 3years of waiting for her.

It all started from sec 3F, 2004. I can still remember clearly during that year I was sitting in front of her, playing her 6510 handphone game and she was sitting beside Sandy. First we went through September.I can never forget that month when she and Kenny started going steady. It was because of that that I got to see Kenny more often. Then we went through October; the Open House doing some sales thingy while the girls inside the classroom do some hair straightening and some medicure thing. And then next it was her birthday at pasir ris chalet, celebrating together with her grandmother. Then Kenny was there, Kai Yan, Sandy, and all of her friends were all there. I still remember the shape of the cake; it was a heart shape with strawberries on top of it.
After that it was the exams that came and left. Lucky for me, I made it to sec4, but my results were really 'just pass' kind of standard. As for her, she went down to normal acad, and I went through a year without her in my class.

I couldn't remember when it happened, but that incident was really carved literally in my head. That day, a few of us together with Soon Seng went to Tampines Century Square arcade, and they saw him in another girl's embrace. I was speechless. How could a guy do this to her. Then she really broke down into tears. That day was really terribly sad for her. I wished I could do something to help her get over it but well, as a guy and a friend I couldn't do much but to just console her with words.

It was that day that I told myself,"I'm not going to let this girl cry like this again."

Year-end 2004 wasn't that good either. Guessed there were more heartaches for her as she kept on breaking and patching up with Kenny(if im not wrong?). 2005 officially ended the relationship. I stood by her all the way through. If she wants someone to talk to, I'll be there for her like a pillar to support. Guessed through those times, our relationship began to improve and both of us eventually got closer, making us really good friends. 2005 came in like a breeze. Somewhere somehow, at some point of time, I denied my feelings for her because I knew clearly that it wasn't love. I kept telling myself that,"No. It isn't love! it isn't! It's just a crush that will fade away soon." So i told her no, when she asked if I was secretly liking her.
Once again, through IRC she got to know this guy by the name of Alfred. Before I even knew it they were together, after trying so much to make her forget about Kenny and what he did to her. Well, at least she realized that he's not a good guy and should find love somewhere else instead. After a short period of being together, 19Oct2005 everything ended all because of me. The guy whom she claimed to love, the guy whom she claimed that she could not do without with, left her all because of a good friend. "Go stead with him!" Alfred said over the phone. "NO! Give me another chance! Please! Stop trying to push me to some other guy!"
At pasir ris park, stupid me went to sms Alfred to ask her to get into the shelter because it was raining. I knew I broke her heart too much. I betrayed her. And I felt so terrible that I couldn't even forgive myself.
Hearing what Alfred said, the girl asked me,"Why not we make up a fake boy-girl friend relationship so that Alfred would not break up with her?"

I agreed, since the doors of going into a relationship was so widely open. Eventually we left the park of broken memories which I call it. That day, she was frustrated not because of Alfred but because of the two of us being together. My 'stead' helped me to hold my bag. Somehow, her expression could tell me that she's not happy with whatever that's happening.And once again, stupid me felt really terribly guilty and thought that she was angry about what I did with Alfred.

O levels came and slapped my whole life upside down as I had to study for it while feeling stressed up about what she said to me. "DON'T TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN!" I really felt like crying my heart out. For once I thought, I lost a good friend and someone that I wanted to be with. What's more, I have a victim beside me that I actually replace her for it. 1month, 2months passed. The storm seemed to calm down. I gave a hug, a kiss, and held my hand with her, leaving out a substance of love. She was there trying to get closer to me, reason being that she wanted to test if that girl that I hold hands with had any trust for me, when clearly it was all jealousy.

She began to realized how lonely it was without me by her side and that I was with this girl all the time.
2006 came, whatever that happened really did happened. 9.1.06, S.H.E concert she prompted me to break off. Feelings ran all over me. I was thinking,"Should I or should I not?"
Me:Dear I got something to tell you.
J:What?
Me:I've decided...to listen to your mum...
J:"Stunned...not knowing what to do..." o...k...
Me:But we can still be friends right?
J:Yeah.
She alights off the lrt train.

By then, I knew I was free of the girl. Whatever that happened was all in the past. It was time to look forward to a new present, an unknown future to my life. Everyday went by with looking for her, at least almost. Somewhere in my memory the place spotlight at Plaza Singapura was the place I started holding her hand. It continued ever since. Months flew, and she knew clearly how much I loved her in my heart. Strangely, it was unknown to me what was her feelings towards me. During the 2nd half of the year, somehow things start to sharpen abit. There were suspicions that she liked me as well. There were bits and pieces of clues that led to results duducing that it was a positive...that she liked me too. But was it all true? Eve of National Day we went out for a movie. For once at least I managed to put my hand across as we're watching a romance movie. I tried with every strength I could to not to cross the line over since we are still friends.
National Day, I dressed up and looked my best.Glad to say that she was impressed with me and with what I wore. Had a wonderful day out, including me asking her to go take neoprints together.

Finally after going through so much, I can finally hold her hand and call her 'dar'.
Well, it's time to start my love lifestory. Officially.

11.08.2006

someone make this a public holiday! LOL.

When I kissed you...
fireworks flew
Angels sang with lollipops
dinosaurs came back to life and cried
The babies all gurgled in laughter and surprise
When I kissed you.

You are the one in a million
You are the one for me
But l guess I'll know
if I ever try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms
and kiss you.

When I kissed you
I took note of time
I felt a surge of happiness
Running up my spine
But I won't run naked in the street
with a tattoo of your name on myehind
When I kissed you.
Oh, when I kissed you
Yeah, when I kissed you.

Bleah, I'm too happy to blog. Maybe this song can just express what I feel today. But I really wished that the status would be there. If not for the O levels, it would have been there long long ago.

Ok, back to normal. What really happened today was that everything so called started off with a really nice dream. I saw a text message saying "I can't go on like this anymore..because I realized i need you..." or something like that. But I wasn't sure who it was from. Then school started as usual...late in class...but today was the installation of Linux so it was quite important as not many people really know how to.
Then next it was PE time...by then my handphone batt was dead. PE ended with 2rounds of walking as the teacher needed to leave for a meeting. I left school immediately for home as I was meeting her later on to go to her godsis'house. Got some lunch at compass point and sped off on my bike back home...Then finally we met up again for the third time this week and somehow after the dream it gave me a new kind of feeling when I saw her today. She was there trying to hide her smile from me...blah. But well, true enough something did happened today. Everything seemed normal while on the way there...hugs, cuddles,etc. Then soon enough we reached the place, walked to the house and finally saw our dearest godson! Man, he's so cute! almost going to be one year old soon. spent around half an hour before I left them for tennis.

Today the tennis coach, her name pronunouced as shan or watever, seem to be quite strict and different from the previous classes.Did the usual drill; forehand and backhand, and I realized I suck at backhand. but that's not the point.

>>>FAST FORWARD>>>>

After tennis, I made my way down back to Aljunied. Took bus 80 with her at around 6.24pm. Then on the bus it was really super duper cold. Then it was like i managed to reach my long termed goal today, 11aug06. Will never forget this wonderful day forever.

Well, couldn't be late, can I...woke up and got ready to go out by 9.21am because I was meeting her at compass point at 9.30am. LUCKY she had some make-up problem or else I'm so dead. Then we headed down to Jeffrey's hairdressing salon. This is the best part ever I guess...Jeff came out to greet us and asked us a question...
Jeff:"Who wants to cut?"
Me: "She..."
Jeff:"Your girlfriend wants to cut? Can let so-and-so cut because I have lots of people waiting for me to cut for them as well...
J:"Erm...ok..."
Jeff:"Can lah...see, your boyfriend looks so terrific...If you want to choose some pattern I'll choose for you..."
J:"Oh..ok..."
M: *Laughs in madness softly*

Ok so after the cut we went ahead to take the bus all the way to Hougang Mall, firstly to find her friend, next to get a glance of the new K800i with cybershot digital camera and to take the MRT down to Plaza Singapura. In front of Hougang Mall was a big hall and there were rows of clothes arranged for sale, salesgirl roaming around the area, including her friend. Hence, we went there, greeted her...and then they start talking about their little stories which I was like so sian initially but suddenly the topic turned to me, and she asked for her opinion about me. Sad to say, the response was only "Ok lah.."

Fast forward to when we were at the MRT station...She received a sms from that same friend saying that we are behaving like a couple and stuff...but well, one thing relieved to hear is that I look so much better than before, quoted for her dearest friend..I was like grinning from ear to ear because I really like what I was wearing; black T-shirt with a white blazer. So awesomely nice-looking on me.

Then after arriving at our destination, we went on to Pizza Hut and ordered one Regular, shared, and one cup of iced lemon tea each. It was then that I learned about the sweetener needed for the drink.

>>FAST FORWARD>>>

Then it was like after Pizza Hut, we went on to Orchard by walking there. But we went up to OG even before reaching orchard. So up there, we were searching for her gown for grad nite...and low and behold we found one at some expensive shop within the OG building. Yeah. Take it like, Gucci or LV shop in the middle of Compass point.
We wandered around and finally found the gown that she liked. But sadly there was no sales assistant to help us, and she was there complaining about it.
So we left that place and decided to come back again since the person seemed like all go on lunch break.Eventually she still managed to try on the gown and other than having the wrong undergarment* to match the gown, she looked awesome.(*erm, don't exactly know the names of females' undergarment but well as far as i know, bras dont go together with tube dresses, thus the statement.)

Then I bought her a winnie pooh as well and the total cost seemed to make me look like a rich brat. whahahaha. Then we made our way down to Far East.
>>>FAST FORWARD>>>
And then we went down to Marina Square. Spent on some clothes again, and made our way down to the ground floor opposite the Esplanade to await for the fireworks.

Oh no. Of all times, I had to lose it the day before I go on my shopping spree.But if I'm not wrong I should have dropped it during my return to Compassvale secondary school. Man, that school is getting from great to good to bad to worse. My goodness; they actually had handphone spotchecks on Friday, and the whole school was like panicking because of some idiot who stole a handphone from someone. If I knew who was the thief and my handphone was confiscated because of him/her, I'll most likely beat the person up for creating such trouble for the whole school.

Well, I got my report book back but I lost my EZ-link card. Now I have to go back to school to report the matter to the student service centre. Wonder what they will do to my card. Anyways, have to get some spare coins to take buses here and there, or else I won't be able to travel around especially since I'm going out with her tommorow.
Today I went for a haircut together with Zhiming. As I said previously in my post that everyone especially Stacy would be suprised at Zhiming's hairstyle change. Man, Stacy was like, "OMIGOSH! ZHIMING! so shuai!!"

She even touched his hair. MUAHAHAHAHA. ok, no more talking about them or else they will get angry if they see this. But hey, I'm just writing what happened today.

Anyways, it was really heartwarming to chat with the canteen stall sellers. One of them gave us a egg sandwich treat too. Then we were talking about one of the auntie's child who once had a malay boyfriend, similar to someone there. The auntie was like saying that if her daughter has a malay boyfriend, she'll be happy for her. But see if she can withstand hari raya puasa where they fast for a month without food, only water. Yah, it's true that a chinese might not withstand food for a month due to not being used to it. But, with true love, I think even food won't be an obstacle when the couple go through weal and woe together. But again, the auntie said that she had a relative who daughter had the same secenerio. Then they persuaded the mother to let them get married after being together for 10years. Reluctantly, the mother agreed. But sad to say, they divorced one year after marriage. Well, really hope that this would get into her head of the consequences of having a malay boyfriend bah. If it's me, most likely I won't go up to marriage because I can never accept the fact that I'll be circumcised!

Then after chatting we left school and saw one of the maths teacher, Mr Lim. He shared about how the toughness to be a teacher in CVSS had increase dramatically. He also shared about 7-8 teachers requesting to be transfered out of the school, most likely due to the stress here and also talked about volunteering himself to be beaten up by students because they wanted to fight it out over some misunderstanding.
Wow, what a caring teacher. I mean his sacrifice to be beaten up rather than see them beat each other, is really quite noble of him. If it was me, I would take at least a few years to get the relationship well with the students and most likely I might consider doing the same thing, because after all I am their teacher and I care for them too.

Then both me and stacy went to the bus stop and I took 83. It was at that point of time that I realized I lost my EZ-link card. So I concluded that I should have lost it in CVSS.

Anyways, the whole week has been really brisk and I nearly couldn't catch my breath. It's like it was only a sunday and the next moment before you know it another sunday approaches. And yah, I've mentioned about this months ago that before we know it, National Day is just around the corner. And here it is. I sure hope that I will have a good time outside with Rara, Li Jun, Jess, two other guys and me. Not much will know the significance of those who are going, but well it's kind of obvious as well.

Yesterday I was officially challenged to pamper a girl after her last O levels paper.Of course as it is a challenge, it's not just me doing it, but there's another guy too. Well, the so called 'prize' for the winner would be a wonderful relationship with the girl. WOW.It's definitely a challenging challenge, but well it's worth the try.

I just hope that the girl would be able to put down everything that happened in the past and just move on with life.

ANYWAYS,back to national day. This eve of national day I'll be going out with her to the movies and maybe just to get some clothes for national day and then spend the half of the day walking all around bugis. Hmm. By then I should be able to get some new clothes for myself, and then do some mini makeover from head to toe, starting on monday with a haircut. Zhiming will be going with me as well, and I'll definitely want him to get some spiky hairstyle.

ALL PI5064K PEEPS BE PREPARED FOR THE CHANGE ON ZHIMING!! muahahahahaha.

Next it was 4hours of Java lesson. Thinking of it just made me laugh. Halfway through the 4hours, someone had some queries on the Sound Forge test that we would be having later on, and somebody was there using the Sound Forge notes to teach someone. That, reminded me that I did not get my notes because I was absent, moreover I remembered that Teh kor told me Wendy had some extra notes kept. So I went over and asked her;
Me:do you have the extra notes for the sound forge?
W:I passed it to Triska.
Me:Do you have the extra notes for the sound forge?
T:eh...let me think...it's with Jieleng...
Me:-.-"
Me:Do you have the extra notes for the sound forge?
J:I passed it to Stacy to pass to you...
Me:Do you have my notes?!
S: There! This one is yours! See..your name's on it.
Me:-.-""""""""""

I felt so dumb, going around when my notes were just next to me.

Then we went to PIE class and did some Multi-intelligence Quiz. Lo and behold, I knew that I was going to get what I expected. Kind of forgotten what catergory I had that was more than 3points. I remembered clearly the one on reading charts and maps, having a good sense of direction and estimation was the one that I got 5points for it. I knew that all along that I was good at estimating my travel time. That day when I skipped lecture for the 2nd time, I actually went to compass point as stated in my previous post. I took the bus around 4:04pm. By the time I took 27 halfway nearly reaching the expressway I looked at the time; 5:25pm. I know that I was going to reach there 10mins later. And I was right! I got off the bus exactly at 5.35pm when I looked at my watch.
Then the next highest one was the logical/mathematical thingy...which I totally could not remember what it was all about.

After PIE, most of us went to cafe1 and we celebrated Triska's and Leslie's birthday(Happy birthday you two!) Took some pictures of the celebration but was too far away though. Then I think I took quite alot of cake. Johnson thought he could run away from eating the cake but well, he was still sort of forced to eat it, through playing a game; zhong ji mi ma. It was so hiliarious when they were guessing the numbers. The disgust level grew as we played on. Previously some carrot drink was accidentally poured onto the metal plate holding the cake, so leslie mixed part of the cake with the carrot drink..woosh...And I guessed the number. Yucks as it looked, it did taste quite normal though...haha.

Later after everything, we had our sound forge test. Overall, I'm confident enough to say that I can pass this test. But it was through some co-helping..haha. Then later on went to the student council centre to check out if I was supposed to attend some meeting as I remembered that i was supposed to attending a comittee's meeting, but I forgot about the date and venue! Shucks. It turned out that I wasn't supposed to be there at all, because Marcus the head of student council was marking attendence and yeah he didn't call out my name. So I left school hoping to catch up with Stacy and the rest.

Initially they decided to go to Tampines, but in the end we went to take 24 and changed to 25 at Bedok interchange. The bus driver turned out to be a speedster. We reached AMK in exactly one hour from the time we left...Then stacy, zhi ming and me decided that we should go have dinner together, but stacy found out that she had misplaced her handphone on the bus! So we went off to find the bus, but it turned out that the bus had left for the depot. Thus we headed to that place, by going towards the AMK library and took a bus to YCK interchange and walked towards the depot. I was literally cheated by the map at the interchange because it showed that the depot was close to the YCK stadium, which is near to the interchange. Turned out that the gate was all the way at the end, near to my ex-workplace. Despite much searching, we still could not find her handphone.

>>>fast forward>>>

we went back to AMK, had dinner and went back to the interchange to head back for home..
Wow. what a busy day. Didn't even have time to play maple at all...

Hmmm..sometimes I wonder why people want to be in a relationship so much. For me, it's fun to be in a relationship but I will never like the starting of a relationship. I mean, imagine this girl you've been hanging out with and you're so used to calling her by her name and then suddenly you're in a relationship with her and you're calling her 'darling'. I can't accept such an abrupt change though. And then everything starts changing. Her life revolves around you and your life revolves around hers. Then have to find time to go out with her also..I'm not saying that spending time with the girl/guy you like is wrong, but seeing the busy schedule of Singaporeans would there be time? And then faithfulness and trust set in to the picture as well. Would my other partner trust me in where I'm working/studying? Not flirting around with the opposite gender? Then how would the couple develop their relationship? Would they start hugging each other and kiss all over few weeks after being together? How are the two going to settle disagreements as well? How much do they know each other? Their favourite colour? Their way of eating? wearing? etc.

Seriously, it takes alot to go into a relationship, but some do hit off really well as I do know of people who have been together for quite a couple of years. I guess, humans are always trying to look for love, to be cared for and stuff like that. But they are never going to finish searching, even after marriage. Pardon me, this may seem something very sensitive but well we all have to face the fact.

am off to sleep.